friendly advice 202

Okay, so we have all been there. The moment when your friend asks you for advice on their relationship woes. What is it that you do? First, let me start by saying there are two different types of friends. There is the friend who will give you all the excuses that are on “He’s Just Not Into You” and then there is the friend who will give you the real deal advice. {but the “real deal” can sometimes be misconstrued as ‘I don’t like how I’m handling my current situation either so I’m just going to tell you everything I should be doing. Ha!} So, what do the conversations look like with these three girls? I’ll enlighten you on my take. Here is the scenario, two friends, Laura and Jan. Laura just found out that her boyfriend of 7 years has gotten another girl pregnant.

#1 “The Forever Optimist”

“Jan, Michael got someone else pregnant. I don’t know what to do. We have been together for 7 years now and he goes and does something like this. Do I just walk away? What do I do?” “Wow girl I’m so sorry to hear that…have you talked to Michael? How is he handling things?” {pause} Wait, HUH? How is HE handling things????? Why in the whole wide world would she ask about that man and how he’s feeling. Forget how he’s feeling! She need to be comforting Laura, and asking her how she can help blow his car up…Okay, sorry I went off on a little rant there. (like I’m not the one typing the whole story LOL) {unpause} “I mean I guess he is fine. He did seem a little taken aback by the whole situation. He even cried when he told me.” “I understand that you are upset, but you don’t even know if the baby is his yet. I wouldn’t jump to conclusions. You know how women want to trap all the good men with a baby.” “You’re right, I’m going to wait until we figure out what’s really going on.”

#2 “The Realist”

“Jan, Michael got someone else pregnant. I don’t know what to do. We have been together for 7 years now and he goes and does something like this. Do I just walk away? What do I do?” “Girl now you already know what you need to do. Forget the fact that he might have gotten someone else pregnant, what about the fact of him cheating on you? Don’t forget the conversation we had last month about him not coming home at night. He isn’t any good, and he barely responds to your text messages. Remember when I texte…{see that’s when you include your personal situation at the wrong time lol}…I mean you texted him asking him where he was and he didn’t respond until the next morning??” “Yeah I remember, but he said he fell asleep at his friend’s house. You know how they get when they’re drinking and playing the game. You’ve fall asleep over here all the time…and yeah you’re right about him cheating. I kind of cheated too, remember when I texted that guy back after we had that fight?” “Texted that guy back when what?! Girl please. That is not the same thing as having unprotected sex without your significant other!”

No matter which friend you identify with, in most cases your advice comes from a place of concern for your friend. Personally, I know that I have been both friends. {you have too!} I know which friends can handle which response. For most friends it doesn’t matter if you give them the good, bad, or the STANK response, they will still go right on back doing what they been doing.

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