dating potential vs promise

Last night I had a conversation with a few of my closest friends about dating people with “potential.” They aren’t where we are in life, but they have “potential.” They don’t have a career just yet, but they have “potential.” Yeah he’s living with his mom but he has “potential.” She is still in school, but she will be getting out soon and has “potential.”

I can’t speak on the behalf of men, but from a woman’s point of view we are natural nurturers. We want to see the best in people, and we believe that they will see their potential through and become gainfully employed with benefits and a 401k. It’s so easy to fall for a guy. I mean really, think about it. He can look nice, dress decent, make you laugh, and then BAM! You’re in a relationship. But as I get older I have to ask myself the more important questions. What does his credit score look like? How is his relationship with his family? How is his relationship with God? Will he be a provider? Can he save money? Does he have a job with benefits?

I have friends who have dated guys without a car, job, and living at home with their mom, but being the awesome people they are, they saw potential in these men and gave them a chance. Some of them went on to stay in relationships, and others didn’t. For those that stayed with the men, from my knowledge they are still in the same position that they were in when they met. This sucks to me because my friends are AMAZE-BALLS and have all worked their bootay’s off to get where they are, and I feel like they deserve more than the weekly date night and good laugh. Those friends who pulled the plug at the “talking” stage realized that they are self-sufficient women who felt like they were being held back and holding on to a hope that the man would get his life together.

We always hear the stories of the women who stuck by the side of influential men when they didn’t have two dimes to rub together. Michelle Obama dated Barack when he didn’t have a floor to his car and look at them now! (please keep in mind this man went to HARVARD LAW SCHOOL while the man/woman you thinking about might be the next in line to be employee of the month at the local fast food chain) But you have to ask yourself, at what point do you stop dating potential and start dating promise?

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