“You can’t help someone who won’t participate in their own rescue.” –Unknown
My pastor said this in church on Sunday, and it resonated with me something serious! So basically…this quote is saying you can’t help someone who won’t help themselves. I know personally I can’t stand it when I give some bomb advice (and I mean BOOYAH bomb), and then the person just goes and does the same shiggity. I’m left asking myself…why did I even waste my breath?! But you know what? I can’t be too hard on others because I know that I have been there before. My friends just got to the point where they told me “Keshia, you’re going to do whatever you want to do anyway…so just let me know what happens.” Bahaha! Gee thanks ya’ll! One friend, Ambrosia, told me “Keshia, I don’t want to hear about it ever again. Talk to me about something else.” You know what I thought she was kidding at first so I tried her…and then she sternly reminded me she wasn’t interested in listening and she would hang up if I didn’t have anything else to talk about. LOL It was a little extreme, but you know what I learned my lesson.
I have friends who will constantly ask me for advice, or use me as a means to boost their self-esteem. Number one, I have no problem uplifting my friends! “You’re amazing!” “You are going to rock that interview’s socks off!” “I am so proud of the person you’re becoming!” see…I got all the motivation! What bothers me is when friends will only hit me up for these types of conversations. (and they’re always the same conversation with nothing ever changing in between) I mean sheesh can I get a “hey how have you been?” before the “no one likes me, do you think I’m dateable?” comes through. Allow me to get my mind right first.
This quote doesn’t only ring true for relationships though. It can also be applied to life in general. How many people are at jobs they hate, or have goals, aspirations, and talents they have yet to tap into? Sometimes you have do what you’ve never done to get where you’ve never been. No one is going to hand you everything you’ve wanted in life without you having to work for it. (and if they do…please go on and put a good word in for ya girl! Because I can throw the deuces at grad school in two shakes of a lamb’s tail!) Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s scary starting something new and having to change. Whew…change is something else! Like I have previously mentioned, I have been teaching for 3 years. I always knew I wanted to get into communication, but I told myself I would teach for one year and if I still wanted to switch it up I would. Next thing I know its 3 years later and I haven’t done a thing to get into grad school. It wasn’t until my friend/roommate pushed me to take the GRE and apply to grad school that I actually did it. (I seriously thank God for her every time I think about how I’m actually doing it! Thanks Domi! You da best!) Yes it’s great to have others motivate you, but you have to want it bad enough to push yourself! Don’t allow your circumstances or even your background to deter you from chasing your dreams. You can’t blame how you grew up and what you had to go without for the rest of your life. Eventually you have to pull up your big boy/girl britches and hit the ground running!
Oh yeah…and don’t spend your time comparing where you are to where others are! You won’t get anywhere doing that. Instead of staring at them why don’t you ask them for help and advice as to how they got to where they are? Surround yourself with people who have similar goals as you, or are where you want to be. Be encouraged people! Chase your dreams! Right now you are as old as you have ever been, and as young as you will ever be again! Be blessed!