upon receiving questions about a recent post, i decided to elaborate a little more. i created the original blog on my phone in transition to something else, so i had to keep it short and sweet. this is my opportunity to be a little more detailed regarding my feelings about being friends with an ex.
in my opinion there are three things you need before deciding to transition from a romantic relationship to a platonic one.
- mutual agreement: first and foremost you both have to agree that you want to have a friendship post lovers. if one person is wanting to be friends and the other is wanting to be back in a relationship then it’s not going to work. i mean think about it…the whole time you’re complaining about “that time of the month” he could be thinking “man i wish i could be there to rub her belly and feed her chocolate” bahaha that might seem a bit farfetched…i mean do you guys really think that way? if so, let me know who you are so i can hit you up like “hey boo” lol
- maturity: throwing little digs at the other person regarding their new love interest is a sign of immaturity. (this just might be my shortcoming lol ) as previously mentioned i saw my ex a few days back and i asked him where he was coming from. he replied “from my girl house” when i say i wanted to chop that man in the THA-ROAT! he says “where else would i be?” oh…so there’s no other place you’d be huh? not at the GYM, or maybe WORK?! so the only thing you do now is eat, work, and go to your boo house? aw okay. *side eye* see…what did i tell you guys…maturity. say it with me now “M-A-T-U-R-I-T-Y”
- HAPPINESS!!! this is the most important…you have to be happy with yourself so that you can be happy for your ex and their newfound relationship. if you’re miserable and your love life sucks then it is impossible for you to be happy for someone else. if you really want to give a friendship a try then you have to truly be happy for them and whatever situation they are in. this does not mean be happy in their face and then be praying that karma comes and rears her ugly head and makes them pay for all the craziness they put you through. (*cough* that’s been me before but i’ve at least matured from there) focus on yourself and figure out what makes you happiest and just submerse yourself in it. surround yourself with people that make you happy. when you’ve found happiness for yourself then and only then will you be able to extend that out towards others.
being friends with an ex can be difficult, but i can definitely understand why so many want their relationship to extend past the “i love yous”. these are people that you have spent extensive amount of time with…the one you’d call on your lunch break and when something funny or awful happened. now they’re just another “do not answer” or my favorite “lyin king” contact saved in your phone. (omg in undergrad, no lie my friend saved her ex as ** in her phone. the FUNNIEST thing i ever witnessed. he literally only had two asterisks for his name lol) give yourself some time to heal before exploring friendship. who knows, maybe your ex needs a little time themselves. be blessed everyone!! if you have anything to add please feel free to comment below! 🙂