this evening my friend sent me a text saying:
“you know what pisses me off” now i already knew that this easily translates to “you know what i LOVE” lol so i just sent her the bug eyed emoji and waited.Â
“i follow this girl on Facebook that does hair and her boyfriend and child’s father of 8 years just proposed to her, you know some men are willing to go the extra mile and make you feel like you’re worth all of the bs that you’ve been through over the years!”
this sparked up a lukewarm (i won’t go as far as to say that it got heated) discussion about our outlook on men, and when they choose to propose to the women they’re in relationships with.
my perspective:
if a man loves you and wants to marry you then he will do just that. he won’t wait until he makes a mother out of you and a decade to go by before he decides to spend the rest of his life with you. i used to work at a jewelry store and encountered couples wanting to get married…and let me tell you, i have worked with some men who proposed after 3 weeks and others who were two kids and 12 years in before deciding to settle down. i have always been a firm believer that a man will do exactly what he wants to do, when he wants to do it. so if your boyfriend hasn’t proposed yet, it’s because he hasn’t wanted to bad enough.
her perspective:
a man can want to marry you, but you just never know why they choose to wait. from the initial visit to the jewelry store, to the grandiose spectacle, men are taking a huge step when they decide to propose & there are so many factors to consider when asking yourself “what’s taking him so long?”: age, readiness, and timing just to name a few. not to mention how the men were raised. what if he was raised in a single parent household and never witnessed a healthy working marriage? that may deter him from wanting to pursue that level of commitment. you. just. never. know.
we would LOVE for you to answer this one question:
“how long should it take for a man to propose to a woman?”
comment below 🙂 love & light!!
shestartedablog 
Honestly… there’s no definitive answer. It takes a lot for some men to gain that level of trust in a relationship… once it’s there, the situation is then based upon several factors that are important to him. So, I’ve gotta agree with your friend… As men, we know who we want to put a ring on, we just don’t know exactly when sometimes. lol There have been women I’ve met that exemplify every quality that I want in a partner, but I still I have my own reasons for not taking that step. Whether it be financial stability, timing, doubt, fear or age, I chose not to take that leap but I recognized that I was ultimately working toward it. I will say that the worst thing any woman can do is apply pressure to this process. Like you said, men know how and when they want things… so don’t rush it with us. We got this. lol Now, if your timelines don’t mesh, then y’all have something’s to talk about and work through. But if you trust his effort and decisions, by all means, be patient and stick with it.
So again, it just depends on their process. Some men have it down to a science and can make that move in a year, some need two kids and ten years to figure it out. But if a man tells you those are his intentions, there’s a good chance he’s not lying. Just my opinion.
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Thank you so much for your input!! I definitely agree with a lot of your points. It’s easy for me to form my own opinion because I’m not a guy lol so it’s good to hear from a male’s perspective! 🙂
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